the rest of the avengers literally aint got shit on tony. parents killed by an assassin. sold to terrorist ring by godfather and legal guardian. open heart surgery w/o anesthetics, magnet powered by car battery in chest so that fucking shrapnels dont slice through his heart. hiking through arabian desert in 57°C with weak heart, injuries and no proper attire. paralyzed and left to die of shrapnel by that same godfather. almost died of a billion volt discharge fighting him. survived head on lighting blast by thor himself. got his house thrown at him after a terrorist attack was sent on his house. been living with palladium poisoning and survived only cause he managed to create a new chemical element with 7% help of his shitbag dead dad. survived an army of killer robots. survived the beating of two supersoldiers and laying beaten to pulp mid-siberia exposed to the negative 25 degrees celsius. survived an angry hulk attack and almost subdued the bitch through brute force. attached himself to a nuke and flew it through a wormhole into space, free fell from the fucking sky and almost hit the ground with full force. survived getting attacked by 20th century deadliest assassin slash super soldier with only bullet proof glasses and one (1) gauntlet. saved his damn self from being captured and tied up by killian. survived a dead drop in kansas. survived the full blast of a power stone. got an ENTIRE FUCKING MOON, A WHOLE FUCKING CELESTIAL BODY THROWN AT HIM HEAD ON, AND GOT UP 4 SECONDS LATER, UNBOTHERED, SHAKING THE DUST OFF HIS SHOULDER. ALL THIS WHILE BEING A 100% HUMAN AND UNTRAINED LIKE DO YOU ALL JUST IGNORE HOW FUCKING BADASS AND UNKILLABLE THIS MAN IS OR DOES STEVE NEED TO DROP THE “EARTHS BEST DEFENDER” ON YOUR OBLIVIOUS ASSES AGAIN
Somehow, they forgot to put “being thrown bodily out the window of his own skyscraper by a fucking god and managing to save himself in the nick of time with a voice activated suit that flew to him and fitted to his body midfall via a pair of fucking bracelets.”
sometimes i wake up in the dead of night in a cold sweat and remember the edge of spiderverse comic gerard way wrote that made the evangelion kids canon to the marvel universe
i had to read this sentence four times to comprehend all its individual parts
gerard way is a surprisingly good comic book writer ok
gerard way has always been a comic book author foremost
